“These potato chips are amazing, and they have 75% less fat than regular chips which means they are a healthy option!” – Most delusional fatties who have been brainwashed by an ignorant government and any marketer with half a brain.
When I witness the disgracefully common occurrence of a person whose body fat percentage is so high that it exceeds their European shoe size delegate themselves a gold star for eating a reduced fat, “healthy” alternative loaded with carbohydrates and virtually no protein, I can’t help but hope these people aren’t raising kids. If they are, I pray these kids are smart enough to the realize that any dietary advice given by their over-sized caregivers needs be received as:
“This advice is complete bullshit, what you should do is listen to me and then go in the complete opposite direction”.
Lack of education on correct carbohydrate use is something that is unbelievably scarce among society today considering the magnitude of negative side effects that most people suffer through and whine about as a result of a high-carb diet bred from ignorance, sloth and the tendency not to question any information spouted by mainstream sources.
In this post, I am going to enlighten the shit out of you on how the ignorant use and abuse of carbohydrates in modern society is responsible for a very high percentage of shitty, weak humans in a manner that is fueled by pure disgust for the strain of weakness, ignorance and lack of self-responsibility that is typically applauded among the masses today.
The basic premise of my philosophy on eating carbohydrates is this:
You do NOT need to eliminate carbohydrates from your life to become lean, jacked and healthy. You must however, learn to use the fuckers correctly.
I don’t regard carbohydrates as a kryptonite that shouldn’t be spoken of, much less eaten, as a lot of ideological low-carbers do. Some people respond to carbs reasonably well and I do not believe that the only way to health and awesomeness is to eliminate carbohydrates from your life completely. I personally eat carbohydrates one day a week while maintaining a set of defined abs.
BUT, if you consume a high-carb diet and you suffer from regular infections, disease, lethargy, whininess about physical activity, man-boobs, kankles, cellulite and general suckiness in the physical realm, you need to learn how to use carbohydrates correctly. 99 times out of 100 this means carbohydrate restriction.
First I want to discuss how humans adopted a diet that is increasingly reliant on industrialized grains and starches and the consequences of such a diet.
Carbohydrate History – How We Adopted A High Carb Diet
For those of you who are vaguely aware of how humans evolved, you will know that up until quite recently we were hunter gatherers. Instead of sitting on our ass in front of a TV all day and then driving down to the grocery store to load up our basket with bread and cereal, a large portion of our day was dedicated to impaling a large animal of some sort and/or gathering fruits from trees.
We thrived on a diet that was at times almost purely fat and protein, as in the pre-agriculture period the only form of carbs available were fruits and berries in limited quantities.
Humans were active and lean in this period because the environment pressured them to be so. Good luck trying to find a fatty two million years ago.
Along Came Agriculture
Roughly 10,000 years ago, agriculture was introduced to most civilizations and humans started to adopt a diet high in grains and starch after some 2 million years of subsisting on mainly animal fats and very limited quantities of carbohydrates for extended periods of time. It became easier to produce and eat bread than it was to hunt animals, and being a species that is programmed to exert the least amount of effort possible to survive, naturally we started to eat more and more carbohydrates on a regular basis.
What happened from then on is a progressive evolution into lazy (tk lazy slob evolution) depressed slugs that suffer from stupid, self-inflicted diseases like type 2 diabetes, depression and yes, Cancer.
Now I am not saying that we should set fire to every establishment of agriculture on the face of the earth, close down grocery stores and send everybody out into the fields with a rifle to hunt their dinner. I am fully aware of the significance agriculture has had on enabling us humans as a race to achieve great things, as mass availability of food has allowed us to stop spending most of the day trying to spear a buffalo and gave us time to build cities and invent cool shit like airplanes and iPhones.
Not being an exception to the law of polarity however, there is no good without bad. Meaning that while the mass availability of food enabled us humans to grow culturally and technologically, for some reason the common consensus within the masses is that the key to great health is eating a diet that is low in fat and high in carbs (“for energy!” – the delusional shout). Considering the overwhelming evidence of the consequences of such a diet, and the fact that there have been NO prevalent studies that demonstrate the efficacy of a low fat-diet superior to a low-carb diet (below 50g of carbs a day), this is, in my not-so-uncommon-among-intelligent-individuals-opinion, completely fucking retarded.
A society that is rapidly increasing in the abundance of fatties, saddies, whiners, depressed losers, cancer infested and overall shittier human beings.
Whats more, the worst of us don’t even care to follow those impractical guidelines in the first place and yolo through life making eating decisions purely based on immediate gratification and convenience, which is still a diet that is high in carbs as the current food supply in the western world is based on providing for those who eat high-carbohydrate foods on a regular basis. These people still tend to eat high amounts of saturated fat as well, and it’s this combination of large amounts of both saturated fats and carbohydrates that will have you more efficient at sprouting extra chins than Leo DiCaprio is at not winning an Oscar.
Thus, for those of us who actually give a shit about the bodies we inhabit, it is vitally important that said individuals are educated on the proper use of carbohydrates. This means going against the general consensus spouted by the government, because at this point in time it has only been successful in producing jiggly, diseased and dysfunctional individuals that barely resemble human beings.
Government recommended dietary guidelines are so dogmatic that when you stop to consider the repercussions and overwhelming evidence of such a diet, you conclude that most government employed “health experts” are having their strings pulled by a society that is established at profiting from the “low-fat” paradigm.
Corporations and governments make money by selling you the shit that makes you sick (low fat diet snacks) and then profit even more by selling you the things to mask the symptoms of that illness. For example, anti-depressants are prescribed to Fred the fatty as he naturally feels like shit all the time because he has the unnatural and inexcusable (yet not uncommon) combination of a pair of testicles and boobs that fit a C cup bra.
If your body fat levels are not that of a normal human being (I said “normal”, not common), then you need to learn to think for yourself and wake up to the fact that the amount of unhealthy/overweight individuals alive today is a direct reflection of the lifestyle habits spouted by the masses.
What this means is that when faced with a decision regarding health, you will be more successful if you go in complete contrary to the general consensus, because the results of said consensus is not something any sane person would wish to imitate.
Chubby Doc: “Hmm, you have high cholesterol and your body fat levels are in the mid 30’s. I am going to suggest that you first take this (expensive) cholesterol medication. Then make an effort to limit saturated fats, which means red meat, eggs and high fat dairy, as the bulk of your diet should consist of grains and carbohydrates, use this food pyramid as a guide.”
Idiot response: “Okay doc! I am going to naively negate the fact that you have three chins and were breathing heavily after you walked the 15 meters from the waiting room to your office. You must know what you’re talking about because you have a certificate on the wall that is approved by a government institution and says you know what you’re talking about, despite the fact that your abysmal physical condition says the complete opposite.
Non-idiot response: “Doc, how did this advice work for you? I can’t help but notice that you’re not the picture of health your words imply you are, so what makes you think I should take your advice?”
Unfortunately, the latter response will almost never occur as we live in a world where people will typically prioritize being “nice” and manipulating their self image over their best interests. Also the non-idiot wouldn’t be asking a fat person for health advice in the first place.
So what should you do to educate yourself on the use of carbohydrates?
Read a book and take advice only from those who are in a position you wish to be in, which eliminates fat doctors, dunnit?
Stop taking health advice from mainstream media and people who are in mediocre health.
As mentioned earlier, you do not need to eliminate carbs completely, you can in fact thrive on a diet that is moderately high in carbohydrates provided:
A. You train correctly and regularly.
B. Your insulin response is not shot to shit as a result of long-term damaging eating habits (if you’re fat then this is not you).
In any case you NEED to learn how to use the fuckers correctly.
Stay tuned as I will be discussing the damaging consequences of a high carb diet in my upcoming posts.
– Ryan Kuchel